Memory Monday: Big Sister Bear Course 95 (Prerequisite to Momma Bear 101)

I was eight years old.  My father was finishing up his MBA program at USU in Logan, Utah.  We were blissfully poor.  (I say blissfully because even if my parents were stressed out about money, they made sure we were happy in spite of it.)

For months my brothers and I watched as the arrival of our new baby sibling was approaching.  Was it a boy, like my mortal enemies brothers hoped?  They were just waiting to recruit fresh meat into their axis of evil.  Or was it a girl, who would level the playing field in one breath?   Certainly, she would restore balance to the ever-lovin' Force I kept hearing about (and couldn't escape even if I tried).

The year was 1984 and near the end of it, the time had arrived.

During a period when mother's milk was shunned and new-fangled fortified formula was all the rage, Mom chose an alternative to conventional wisdom.  She chose a home birth.  I could dazzle/horrify you with a report on what happened to the after-birth (seriously, imagine the 3rd grade oral report on that one) but instead, I will tell you of the most miraculous sound my young ears heard on that day.

It was my baby brother's first cry.  

I forgot to even be curious about the gender.  It didn't matter, really.  I could just as easily dress a baby boy in pink and ruffles as I could a girl.

For the first time, I had to share a room and I only minded a little bit.  He was sweet, perfect and had a smile that lit up the room.  As the sibling rivalry raged in our home, he somehow managed to be on both sides and even allowed us to find some commonality from time to time.  He had that affect on people, even at an early age.

Then the unthinkable happened. 

 Most of the details of that day are sketchy, but some still haunt me with the sickening fear that hijacked every happy emotion of my being.  As I walked home from school, I knew something was terribly wrong. The first look at mom revealed a terrified woman who had aged 20 years in a few hours.  

My six month old brother, sitting in the red plastic walker he had raced along the kitchen floor dozens of times before, had fallen down a flight of hard wooden steps onto the concrete of the basement floor. 

I will never forget the image of that little baby, black and blue and wrapped up in gauze.  His fractured and the long term repercussions of the accident were a terrifying unknown.  His peaceful sleep frightened me. It wasn't until decades later, when a nephew survived a horrific fall out of a second story window that I prayed so hard for God's Grace to preserve the life of a child. 

Somehow, miraculously, after weeks of recovery he was okay.

Fast forward a few years.  He became an energetic kid who loved attention and adored each one of us.  His capacity to love everyone stretched out beyond our family as well.  His smile still lit up the room, just like it did when he was a baby.

And yet, for one reason or another, he was bullied beyond belief by kids in school. It's amazing to me how something as silly as 'Danny Germs' can stick with a person and hurt for years and years to come...to see an entire group of children ignore their classmate simply because another one told them too.

It's amazing to me to watch a mother cry as she witnesses, first hand, the torture inflicted upon her child while recognizing she is powerless to stop it. 

It's amazing to me to see a little boy grow up to be much bigger than most of his classmates.  He could have easily lashed out and pulverized those kids who said stupid, hurtful things. 

Even more amazing is that he didn't.

It would be ridiculous to hold any of the adult versions of those silly little kids responsible for what they put him through, but gratefully, when it seemed there would never be a reprieve, my dad got a job in Japan.  Dan went with my parents and had a most extraordinary adventure.

Around this time, He-Man and I got married and immersed ourselves in our newly-wed life.  Somewhere in the middle of living that life as a family, my globe-trotting brother got older.  Of course, I can't be sure when it happened, but rumor has that baby brothers tend to do that.  Who'da thunk?

10+ years later, many of us gathered last summer to grieve the passing of our grandfather.  Even though I've seen him countless times in between, I never noticed before what kind of a person my brother had become.

In a quiet, private moment, I saw the comfort he gave our grandmother within hours of grandpa's passing.  His sincere words brought peace to many hearts that night as he served those he loved he loved the most. It came so naturally to him.  Among those people was a girl...a beautiful girl, just a good and kind as him. 

It struck me to see the gentle, adoring way he looked at and treated her.  And to add to such a happy observation, she returned every ounce of that goodness and respect.  It was then and there I realized my brother grew up.  And not only that, but he had fallen in love.   

A couple of weeks ago, I flew out to our home base to witness the wedding of my brother and his sweet wife. 

Admittedly, I was a little nervous, as all Big Sister Bears with a Momma Bear Complex are, to see whether or not he would be entering into a family who would appreciate how innately good and kind he is...and even appreciate his terrible jokes.

How pleased I was to see how loving his new in-law family was to him...In a wonderful twist of fate, it turns out they are pretty remarkable themselves.  In fact, it makes me so happy to know there's an entire family of people who are gonna love him just like us.

It makes hanging up my Big Sister Bear Hat a little bit easier.

So, in closing, Dan and Sarah, Congratulations on your blessed union.  I have no doubt the love you show each other and those around you will be an example to all of us...AND that love will be revisited upon you ten-fold.  I look forward to watching where your new adventures will take you.  I love you both!

Always,
Sis

 PS...just in case you were wondering, the following are incriminating photos of the Bachelor Party Aim and I crashed.... (and a bonus one of Captain America making us laugh so hard we almost peed our pants)