This morning 6 year old Bunny was watching one of her favorite shows, "Super Why" on PBS.
Wyatt and his storybook friends chose a story about the Tooth Fairy...
Which was awesome, considering the
frequent visits she has made to our home recently.
We love the Tooth Fairy. Although she may be conflicted over how much to give our sweet little ones, often having internal struggles within herself over how much she should give, she always manages to bring big toothless grins to our children. Who cares if she's schizophrenic?
Here's the conundrum. When she saw that they were telling a story about the Tooth Fairy, she exclaimed, "Wow, Mom! That's amazing! This is the first time 'Super Why' has told a story about someone who is in real life! Mostly, it's about 'Jack and the Beanstalk' or 'Cinderella' but today it's about the Tooth Fairy, who we really know in real life!!"
Mom, (big gulp!): "That's an interesting observation, Honey! You are so clever!"...
Perhaps I'm over thinking it but I've heard of children being really stressed out about this kind of thing a little later on in their upbringing.
So often we ask them to have faith in people and universal truths they can not see.
Is it fair to perpetuate a myth for the sake of childhood innocence? Is it appropriate once they have the cognitive ability to think these kinds of things through to keep on harboring that big, earth shattering secret? 6 years old seems too young for that kind of information.
Please...discuss!
Wyatt and his storybook friends chose a story about the Tooth Fairy...
Which was awesome, considering the
frequent visits she has made to our home recently.
We love the Tooth Fairy. Although she may be conflicted over how much to give our sweet little ones, often having internal struggles within herself over how much she should give, she always manages to bring big toothless grins to our children. Who cares if she's schizophrenic?
Here's the conundrum. When she saw that they were telling a story about the Tooth Fairy, she exclaimed, "Wow, Mom! That's amazing! This is the first time 'Super Why' has told a story about someone who is in real life! Mostly, it's about 'Jack and the Beanstalk' or 'Cinderella' but today it's about the Tooth Fairy, who we really know in real life!!"
Mom, (big gulp!): "That's an interesting observation, Honey! You are so clever!"...
Perhaps I'm over thinking it but I've heard of children being really stressed out about this kind of thing a little later on in their upbringing.
So often we ask them to have faith in people and universal truths they can not see.
Is it fair to perpetuate a myth for the sake of childhood innocence? Is it appropriate once they have the cognitive ability to think these kinds of things through to keep on harboring that big, earth shattering secret? 6 years old seems too young for that kind of information.
Please...discuss!
12 comments:
Such a struggle; I always worried that if I "lied" about the Tooth Fairy, Santa, etc. what else might I be lying about? But, my kids seemed to get to a point around the age of 8ish (coincidental?) that they begin to understand fiction vs. truth. So, keep up the rouse and let them come to you when they are ready for the real story. You'll know. What about Chrissy??
Kinda like explaning to a 5 year old that Jesus is real and rose from the dead but that there are no such things as Zombies. That was an interesting discussion lately. My plan is to not say anything untill they ask me a direct question "Is Santa Real?". Then I will answer and shatter their innocense.
Nick E!
My 12 yr. old still wants to believe....haha!!
It was actually in my favor two some odd years ago when he had to have baby teeth pulled because he didn't brush his teeth well. "The tooth fairy doesn't want rotten pulled-out teeth!" He started brushing his teeth better!
We have recently had this problem with Santa and the kids asking why they couldn't get a DS from Santa like other kids (we live in a well to do area). "Because Santa helps us parents get the presents. So if we don't have enough money, he can't magically get us the toys we can't afford." They figured the movies where there's elves making was a long time ago when toys where actually made of wood and stuff. ;0) Santa doesn't go to Walmart to buy toys, I do...he just helps me with the delivery part. haha!!
Oh My . . .where to begin. Hmmm - I, for one, have no problem with the perpetuating of these myths. My question - did you believe in the Tooth Fairy? Easter Bunny? Santa Claus? I did. I didn't think my parents had lied to me or feel trauma worthy of visiting a therapist when I learned the reality.These are some of the little magical moments of childhood and it is only in recent years that these topics seem to get "overthought". Quite frankly - I am more concerned about what our children witness when we have the local news on. That is far more traumatic. If the "politically correct" extremists have their way - there will be nothing left for children to believe in - therefore, dramatically killing their imagination. I believe that if the idea of an imaginary being is terribly upsetting to a child, then by all means - tell them the truth. (Jessica used to be terrified of Santa coming into the house). But let them in on the "secret" and tell them they are part of the club now and should not spoil the magic for anyone else. . .Just my two cents. - Can you tell I am opinionated on this one?
lol... I've thought about that very same thing. I grew up without Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, all of that. I didn't feel like I was missing out, but my husbands family is much different, and they feel it's important for children to have that kind of mystical magic in their lives. For me it's still an inner battle. And I wish I had an answer... I think we just do what we think is right. For me deep down inside I just want to be honest, so they can always trust me. But I have never heard of a child who completely disowns their parents for leading on that these pretend characters are real. :) Santa and the Tooth Fairy are real in our house... but I don't like to lead them on very long. I'm weird, I know.;)
This is what we did...Always ask your kids what they think before you answer one of "those kind of questions"...it is not a bad thing to keep them innocent a little longer ! Then if they press you again, ask again what they think and go from there... ( depending on their answer )
I think Stacey is right on in her comment. Kids seem to figure this kind of thing out around 7 or 8, and it doesn't bother them too much. I was always told by my parents that if I didn't believe in Santa Claus, I wouldn't get any presents. Well, I'm 32, I still believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to go to sleep on Christmas Eve without first putting the presents under the tree. I think there are certain cultural myths that it's okay to perpetuate. It's part of what makes childhood fun. Kids eventually figure out the difference between fact and fiction, but I think an imagination is a terrible thing to deprive a child of. Just my opinion... :)
Kids have to deal with all of the harshness of reality soon enough. A little magic in the life of a child only lasts so long. Then you grow up and have to make it yourself. I say let it last as long as it will. Because truly it only lasts so long.
I think it's perfectly alright for children to believe. If they are of the age of doubt and start asking questions take it to Heavenly Father to find out the best way to explain it to them.
I think you took care of it perfectly today. That is an interesting observation! She must be clever, she's your girl!
That much excitement over her observation is a good indicator that it is appropriate to keep the magic of fictional characters alive for a while longer. They are her reality, and at 6 years old, that is completely appropriate. in my opinion
When my kids were young, when questions began, we clarified that Santa is "the Spirit of giving and spreading love" at Christmas time. I painted a ceramic statue of Santa kneeling before the Christ child, so my kids grew up believing that even Santa worships Christ.--that's how we tied Santa with Christ's birth. Anyhow, the tooth fairy certainly spent enough time (and $) at our house with 5 kids. Once they stated that they didn't believe in the tooth fairy, we asked them to help keep the magic for younger sibs or we didn't have to give them $ anymore. Like Kelley believing in Santa, we still believe in the tooth fairy who helps us celebrate another phase of growing up and maturing. The Easter bunny came to our house to remind us of new beginnings and the Atonement of Christ. It's all in the way the imaginary personages/figures are presented to the family.
I agree with others. We need to preserve some of the magic for our little people! They are forced to grow up so quickly.
When the time came to tell Ben about Santa (because he asked), I told him the truth, and then told him now that he was old enough to know, he was old enough to "help" create the magic for the littler kids. He gets great joy out of telling his younger brothers "facts" about Santa, and then giving me huge, dramatic winks and grinning. He never thought we were lying, we just said we were helping make the magic part of Christmas for our kids, and he thought it was fun. And he hasn't had any problem distiguishing between the truth and the myths. We just explained to him how Santa is part of the symbolism, because he is about giving gifts, and Christmas is about Christ, who gave us the most amazing and most important gift of all.
Then there is my cousin, who said he didn't want to lie to his kids, and he didn't want the "credit" for all those hard-earned presents to go someone else, so his kids have never done the Santa thing. And his 5-year-old spent the Christmas party going around telling all the little kids that there was no such thing as Santa. Talk about ruining the magic! Also, there are several parents pretty furious with him for his kids spoiling their preschoolers' Christmas Eve!
I think if they are getting older and they ask, just explain that it's a tradition that we do for fun, and parents like to see if they can use this fun way to make their kids feel special and sneak them some cash. Who could be upset about that?!
Sounds like lots of friends had great advice. The Tooth Fairy didn't last too long around our house when we would forget to leave the money. Finally, the kids just put the tooth in a cup in the kitchen and when we remembered we traded it and left money. Sometimes we had to be reminded a few times or they would just hand over the tooth and take the money! Not much magic there, but they didn't care as long as they got the money! Same thing with the Easter Bunny...he didn't last long, but they always had an easter basket, egg hunt and way too much candy. Santa has survived long past the age of 8 in our house! I agree with the comment "I am 32 and still believe"...I am 40 something and still not willing to say he doesn't exist, because in our house he is alive and well! It is fun to read your blog, wow are you on top of it! Love ya and miss you!
Post a Comment