BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP(...is there anything more intrusive and obnoxious than that sound the alarm makes?)
(Honey, push the Snooze and I'll kiss you even with your morning breath)
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP
"SCHHHHHHHLOOOP"...the connection is cut off and the after breakfast topping off is postponed for my groggy three month old.
#1 staggers in. "I don't wanna go to school." (flops on my bed)
#2 stomps in, dashes into my bed and proceeds to fight #1 for the blankets.
#3 is carried it with a freshly changed diaper and proceeds to hop onto the bed and sit on #1's face.
#4's personal space bubble is invaded by hugs, kisses and the accompanying morning breath of her adoring fans.
Everybody is awake and Dad's looking for that previously promised kiss.
---Bed Monster 0: Mom 1
"Alright everyone, Dad's gotta go. Let's sit up, fold our arms and say a prayer."
"Please fold your arms."
"No picking your nose during the prayer..."
"Do not pinch your sister!"
"THAT IS NOT WHERE YOU PUT THAT!"
---Mom 0: Booger Man, clearly the victor. 1
("Bye, Daddy!" "Bye, Daddy!" "Bye Daddy. Daddy, I don't want to go to school". Kiss kiss, hug hug.)
"#2, don't forget to change your underwear."
"#1, it's 30 degrees outside! That skirt will freeze your legs!"
"#2, please change your underwear."
"Do you really want to wear jeans, tights AND a skirt?"
"Change your underwear!"
"Please give your baby sister space."
"#3, where did your pants go?"
"Could someone give #4 her binky?"
"CHANGE YOUR UNDERWEAR!"
"Why is your shirt on your head, #3?"
"No, you may not have a bag of chocolate chips for breakfast."
"Please give your baby sister space."
"FOR THE MAGNIFICENT LOVE OF ALL THINGS MIGHTY, CHANGE YOUR UNDERWEAR!!"
"Yes, #3, since you're already naked, you can practice sitting on the potty."
Previous Mental Note: #1 likes her eggs sunnyside up, #2 likes her's boiled, #3 likes 'em scrambled.
"Wait. Then why am I beating the 'Fruity Pebbles'?"
"Please give your baby sister space."
"Okay, ladies, here's your vitamins."
('I want the pink one." "No, I want the pink one!!" "NO, ME!" "You got the pink one yesterday!" "Mom, #2 is stealing my vitamin!")
--- Mom vs. Vitamin Makers of the USA: It's a draw (may you have 55 children whose only favorite color is
chartreuse).
"What's your backpack doing outside?"
"Please give your baby sister space."
"You saved that from your lunch yesterday?"
"I'm pretty sure you shouldn't eat it."
"No, your little sister doesn't want it either."
"Yep, I've packed you a very special treat to help you remember how wonderful I think you are."
---Lunch Boxes 0: Mom 1
"THAT'S IT! The next person who smash kisses her baby sister gets to eat the left over vegetable stir fry for dinner...without soy sauce!"
"We need to leave in 5 minutes."
"Where's your other shoe?"
"You may want to rethink knee high boots for P.E. I'm just sayin'"
"We're a little late, let's walk to the bus stop quickly"
("jabber, jabber, jabber, breathe, jabber, jabber, jabber, breathe")
"#2, look both ways before scooting across the street!!!"
"Phew! We made it!!"
("Honk! Honk! Good morning!!")
"I love you." "I love you." "I love you." "I love you." "Have a wonderful day!"
("I love you, too, Momma." "Me too...Momma, I forgot to change my underwear.")
"That's okay, honey. You can change it when you get home if you still want too."
---I fold. Mom 0: Underwear Fairy 1
"It's okay, #3, they'll come home this afternoon and we'll snuggle up and watch a movie together."
---All the nasty, nefarious forces attempting to foil our morning 0000: Mom 1,000,000
I WIN!!
Bonus Prize: It's Friday and tomorrow is Pancake Saturday!
17 comments:
Love it! That totally made my morning. I have had mornings very similar to that around here!
LOL, that chaos is lovely!
"give your baby sister some space". LOL I see her getting smothered....
Hmmm, are you sure you didn't just capture what goes on at MY house (minus the walking to the bus stop part. My kids just complain about not wanting to do homeschool. Too bad, so sad.) 'cuz it sure sounded familiar.
My boys' little sister is 19 months old, and I STILL have to tell them to give her some space. Of course, she's quite vocal about it, too, but somehow they STILL don't listen. *sigh*
That was awesome! It's such a true story of every mom's life!! Great job. You should do more of those. It's pretty entertaining, especially first thing in the morning :)
-Alyssa
Someday you will miss the mess, chaos and noise. I can hardly wait!
ROFLMBO.
That is TOO funny. My favorite annoyed phrase is, "For the love of all things holy!"
Oh the memories!...only I had 3 boys in the mix...which included stealing their dirty underware to put in the laundry while they were in the shower. Hey...they had a towel to cover themselves so they could get the clean ones out of their room! The boys caused far more chaos than our 2 girls ever did!
Thanks for the giggles!
Inquiring minds want to know - do you actually call them by number? Because that would absolutely rock my world. :)
LOL!!!!! Oh Trishelle, I just love you. Sometimes life is crazy. YOu know though despite the chaos you seem to handle it so gracefully! (Even though you might not feel that way, but it's true!)
I just found your blog and you are as funny as ever...I miss your wonderful attitude. Tell that #1 hi for me, I love her! and I am sad that she doesn't want to go to school! -Dionne
This was so awesomely fun to read, Trishelle. Like the other moms, this sounds so familiar. And I think you get extra mommy points for walking your kids to the bus stop. I just kiss mine and send em out the door. Maybe when it's warmer...
Loved talking with your sweet family tonight. Thanks!
I've been a little slow on reading blog updates...LOVE THIS POST! Apparantly at least one of your children thinks changing underwear is as over rated as one of my children...it's so gross!
Thanks for the laugh at the end of the evening.
This is SO like our house. I noted the familiar Purrfect pjs in the Gobble Bag photo, maybe a secret germ passed down with them...the "I Don't want to go to school germ"
Our repeated phrase is "Did you brush your teeth?" Which almost always brings the reply of "Yes". Then why does it smell like a skunk died in your mouth a week ago?...which almost always bring the reply of ...Oh, I THOUGHT I remembered brushing my teeth. 10 minutes later...Did you brush your teeth? No, I forgot. Go do it now. Okay. Comes out sporting a headband, rushes to the bus stop, gives Mom a kiss, the smell of which nearly knocks her over. Seeing Mom's expression says..."I forgot to brush my teeth!, is it too late?", she says as the bus comes to a complete stop.
Just try not to stand 6 feet away from anyone you speak to today.
That was supposed to say, try to stand 6 ft away.
You are hilarious. You are definitely going to be a big writer someday--and I can say... I knew back when she was... well, like 18?? Hahah. You are amazing!
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