Getting All Gussied Up and Sticking Out Like Sore Thumbs...

Last Friday night He-Man took me out for a much needed night on the town.  We hadn't been out on a real date since before RP was born; and let's face it, by that late in pregnancy I wasn't willing to paint the town any color unless I was in my pajamas with no waistband....and probably no makeup.  Earlier, he'd sent me an email describing his work Christmas party being held at a local hotel.  Appealing points were: in-house babysitting ($10 a kid!), a spread of French and foreign cheeses, a raffle, French cheese, a gourmet dinner and, did I mention FRENCH CHEESE?!

I didn't realize how badly I needed a night out until, upon looking at myself all dressed up, in my favorite dress (which I normally feel my very best in), I felt oddly over dressed.  I hadn't worn heels or gotten this gussied up in forever!  So, I embraced the sense of being over-the-top and stepped it up a notch by adding a sparkly studded clutch and scarf.  Hey, if I'm going to be over dressed, I might as well be obscenely peacockish.

By the time we entered the dining hall, I actually felt under-dressed; I'd say practically naked compared to others, but then how would I describe the party goers that were practically naked?   

The party had me wondering how people keep strategically placed clothing strategically placed whilest avoiding major wardrobe malfunction, like someone losing an eye or something.  I'd like to, as they say, 'when in Rome, do as the Romans do', and blend in with the other Floridians but I am, in deed, a victim of the earth's gravitational pull and therefore unable to pull off such styles without causing embarrassment to humanity as a whole.  (I think it has a lot to do with being over 30)

We arrived to the hotel just as He-Man realized he left the tickets at home.  So we dropped the kids off and he left me at the hors d'oeuvres table by myself....after pretty much spending a month and a half in social isolation...with French cheese.  I found myself contemplating how much cheese was appropriate for the plate and why on earth my clutch wasn't bigger and lined with dishwasher safe plastic.  After introducing myself and exchanging pleasantries with the Brie, I allowed dignity and decorum  to override my desire to stuff my pockets and found a seat with my package of wheat-free rice crackers.

I sat next to a brilliant Naval chemist who was much better conversationalist than the Roquefort and whose daughter happened to be babysitting our girls and the other children  upstairs...and making a killing that evening.  After about 5 minutes of talking with no pause, I realized I ought to breathe and explained I hadn't been out much lately.  I ended up making a friend that evening as she joined us at our dining table and talked with He-Man and I all evening.    

Once dinner started, so did the music.  With the exception of some of Stevie Wonder's best holiday music, I didn't recognize anything.  In fact, I couldn't even understand most of what they were saying and wondering about the rapper/singer, 'You wanna put what? Where?'

He-Man requested some swing dance music and while the DJ looked a little confused, found some in his library.  He played it and we decided we'd dazzle the others with some high flying moves.  It felt fantastic to dance again.  I didn't even mind the blank stares that met us at the end of the song; you know the kind that are usually accompanied by the sound of crickets chirping?

By the end of the night I felt pretty certain that we were fish out of water but grateful that variety is the spice of life.  We also went home with a Nintendo DS Lite, having absolutely no clue what that actually is but all the same thrilled that He-Man won a raffle prize.

We picked up the girls from a party of their own which included cupcakes with lots of frosting, gallons of Hawaiian Tropic Fruit Punch and bags of chocolates.  It's no wonder there were kids hanging from the rafters and scaling the curtains!

Lulu was convinced she'd rather stay there, subsisting on sugar until she was forced to brush her teeth and go to sleep.  Bunny was passed out with smears of chocolate staining her face and Sunshine was sitting inches away from a television watching 'Hannah Montana'.  RP missed being fed a cupcake with a red punch chaser by sleeping soundly through the entire evening.  Needless to say, they had a blast and slept in the next morning.

That night, with my French cheese fix and a moment to wear lipstick, high heels and sassy stockings, I started to feel like I was getting my pre-baby, pre-relocation groove back.  We should go out again.  Next time though, I'm making He-Man blend in.  Do you think I could convince him to get all pimped out in a white zoot suit, walking cane, gold necklace with a $ on it and a matching fadora?