A year after Heath Ledger's death...

I've found myself a bit reflective today as it is the one year anniversary of Heath Ledger's death. Obviously, I didn't know him personally. I haven't even seen many of his movies. But my impression of him was that he tried to be a good person, he absolutely loved his daughter and possessed a sincerity that can be hard to find in this world.

Part of why his death was so shocking, so profound for me is where I was when I heard about his passing. I was actually in the presence of several actors, agents and movie directors.

Before I share this story, please forgive if I seem unfair or unkind toward anyone. I want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt but understand there is behavior that is absolutely soul crushing and inexcusable. It is this kind of behavior that, for the first time, had me thanking God that I had never realized my over-the-top childhood dream of being a fabulous and famous movie star. It also made me sad for those who are surrounded by it on a constant basis....

Last year, for a few hours every week I was waitressing at a health food cafe. The job was just right for me. I love people. I'm kind of a granola when it comes to health food and I love waitressing. I met so many wonderful people there and grew to love my 'regulars'. One of these regulars approached me shortly before the Sundance Film Festival. A relative was in a movie and wanted to have a reception for the directors, actors, agents and so forth. They hired me to serve at the party. It was really an honor because it made me realize that I'm good enough at my job that people wanted me to represent them to their peers in their homes.

That day I was a little nervous due to the fact that I tend to be a klutz. (The story of me dropping a dessert tray and narrowly averting disaster for a table of diners is another story for another day). I drove up to Sundance where there was 2 feet of snow and light flurries were drifting all around. It was beautiful, just the right setting for such a reception.

The bartender and I received our assignments and set to work. By the time the guests arrived I realized something. I was invisible. Being a camera hog with a love for hamming it up, I have never before allowed myself to go unnoticed. Whether it was because I was the hired help or that I certainly didn't fit into the mold of the crowd, I can not know. But what I discovered was that in distributing punch, clearing plates, and offering sushi (that gratefully didn't end up on anyone's lap) I could go anywhere with my platter and no one would notice.

Don't get me wrong, no one was rude. I was obviously part of the scerery which meant I got a bird's eye view.

I noticed a gaggle of girls who couldn't have been over 20 years old. They arrived togther, with their 'talent agent' and looked as though they were cut from the same cookie cutter as the agent with some cut shorter than the others. They looked nervous and insecure while trying to put off an air of confidence.

As cliche as it is, I heard a lot of people calling each other 'Baby' and giving each other quick kisses on the cheeks. A few of the directors spent their time texting, chatting on their phones and networking with guests while holding thier martinis and olives.

At one point, the previously mentioned talent agent walked up to a middle aged friend of the host and told her, "You're absolutely beautiful (which was true). You could be in movies." She then went on to encourage her to continue further contact after the party so they could work together on the prospect. At first I thought, "Wow. That's really a compliment". But then it occurred to me. That women just expressed a real interest in working with someone who she had absolutely no prior knowledge of talent or acting ability just on account of her looks. That seemed a little sad to me. Is Hollywood generally that superficial? I really, really hope not.

The party was winding down and after the cookie cutter girls (sorry, is that mean?) had hob-knobbed with various directors and producers they were preparing to leave. As they turned to go, one of the directors called attention to the group, which inevitably drew the crowd's notice, pointed to one of the girls and said, something to the effect of, "You are going to make it". I can't imagine how that must have made her feel (Again, there was no demonstration of talent. Although, for all I know, she could have been a champion sword swallower or could've been able to stand on her head on a bed of nails while crocheting). But what about those other girls. The other ones that had probably spent thousands of dollars to present themselves the way they had. How could he not know, that as a director, his words hold a lot of stock to those dreaming of such a profession? Could there have been a more tactful way of giving a superficial compliment to the one without crushing the hopes of all the others? For some reason, I found the interaction disgusting.

During the course of the party, one of the patrons received a text that Heath Ledger had passed away. I remember looking up at the bartender. We were both horrified. Little other information was given and for the duration of the party, speculation swirled over what could have caused his death. The general consenus was that he'd overdosed and that drugs were bad; which seemed so hypocritical somehow. No one knew anything. Yet the verdict seemed to have already been decided.

By the end of the event, I regretted wearing the four inch high boots but was grateful for the experience. The host of the party and the actress involved in the planning were truly delightful people who were a pleasure to work with. The bartender and I both left feeling greatly appreciated and happy to have worked with them. As we talked, the conversation gravitated to Ledger's death, how tragic it was to lose a person who was so passionate about his work and family. I truly hoped his daughter would be alright and couldn't imagine the sadness her father's death must of meant to her and those who loved him.

The experiences of that day gave a new perspective. As I drove home and met He-Man, I couldn't help but be so grateful for him; his sincerity, his goodness, his rugged handsomeness that ensures he'd be the star of all my features. I was grateful for my sweet kids, my simple, beautiful life...and all my imperfections that make me obviously not movie-star material.

My own little bowl of radishes....

Do you remember the story of Repunzel? The story begins with Repunzal's mom having an overwhelming craving for rampion. It consumed her every thought until she attained it by convincing her husband to swipe some from her mysterious next door neighbor.

That craving essentially cost Repunzal's parents their first born child....Sheesh! That's a steep price. (I guess the moral of that story is 'Never steal garden vegetables from neighbors who look suspiciously witch-like.)

I thought of that fairy tale when grocery shopping today. I saw plump, crunchy, gloriously delicious radishes on the produce shelf as they were screaming my name. I had to eat them! Happily, I grabbed those little red orbs of crunchity goodness and went home...although, I did pay for them since the produce clerk did look a bit mysterious.

The time for me to savor them came when Sunshine and Bunny were invited over to the next door neighbors and I had a moment to myself. There I was, with Button Nose on my lap. I savored the first bite. It was everything I'd hoped it would be...crunchy, a little tangy and scrumptious. On the second bite, our eighteen month old decided that she wanted to try some. Thinking those little radishes would be too much for her, I gave her a small bite. She decided she wanted more than that and pleaded for another....Turns out, that my own little bowl of radishes were exactly what she was craving too. She and I finished the entire bowl and wanted more. Good thing I bought 2 bunches today.

Besides, who wouldn't want to share with a face like this?

GRRRRRR...whimper, whimper, limp, limp, whimper...

Thursday I received a reminder that I'm no longer in my twenties. This was in the form of an obnoxious sports injury. It's starts like this:

Wednesday, I went to the gym to get my run in. It was lunch time by the time I got to go and for lunch, I got a healthy serving of Matlock on one of the television channels. It was a great episode where Matlock and his lawyer daughter go on vacation to the beach. Inevitably, the hapless manager for the hotel they are staying in conveniently gets murdered (I know! The coincidence is UNCANNY!). Maybe it was the big eighties hair or the plastic sunglasses that were completely fashion forward, but for whatever reason, I was riveted after 15 minutes and was happy when I realized my run would be finished around the time the case was solved. BUT....

The vacation was to be continued! What?! Seeing as how we are challenging ourselves to find out how long we can go without cable television the only way I could see the second part was if I came back the next day. Since I'm fairly certain it wouldn't be athletically acceptable to plant myself between the treadmills while watching the continuation, I committed to going running on Thursday too (which I previously hadn't planned on).

On Thursday, He-Man was late getting home for lunch so I hightailed it to the gym and made it in time to seeing the beginning credits roll. I stepped up my speed and was pushing a little harder, when suddenly, my lower back completely zinged with pain. Had I not been able to compose myself, I'm sure my reaction would have involved a unearthly yowl, an embarrassing tumble off the treadmill and large amounts of drool.

I tried to stretch it out, walk it off, anything 'it off' but I could hardly walk. So I was faced with a dilemma: leave now and let my husband fix my back or fake the rest of my workout and watch the rest of the Matlock....seriously! The unanswered questions of "Who murdered Mr. Amorous Hotel Manager?" and "Why does the assistant manager look plastic?" and "When are these people going to realize to live a long life they must stay away from Matlock?" would burn in my brain and keep me up at night.

My logical self rarely wins the debate and this time was no exception. Turns out, Matlock's daughter's best friend was....the killer!! Who knew she was a professional assasin?! (You'd think in the decades of friendship, the subject would come up at some point.)

Needless to say I spent the next few days in bed, in a lot of pain, and totally irritated with myself. I even hobbled up to Dr. He-Man on Saturday and tried to form a convincing argument as to why I should be able to have a workout since I stayed in a reclining position for the previous 2 days. After about ten minutes, it was obvious I was totally losing and went back to bed.

On a happier note, I FINALLY saw WALL-E while laid up. I love it!! It's one of my new favorite movies.

Oh! And today, I'm feeling good enough to get back to normal...mostly. Although, it's going to be a couple of weeks before I run again...ug!

Alphabet Tag...Go, Go, Go for G

I accepted an Alphabet Tag from my friend, Mary Ann...

All you have to do is make a list of ten of your favorite (or not so favorite) things. But there is a little catch. Everything on the list has to start with a specific letter of the Alphabet. That letter is randomly assigned by the blogger who you are playing with!

I've been assigned the letter G:

Great Big Gobs of Girlie Goop: I love makeup...Everything about it!(except for the way it feels in the morning after forgetting to take it off the night before) I love it when it shimmers. I love it when it's matte. I love how sometimes it's scented or flavored. It makes smooching my husband even more fun...except, he always wipes it off. (Probably has something to do with it being unprofessional for a doctor whose not female to wear lipstick). Mt favorite kind of lipstick is Estee Lauder because it smells like roses.

Giants, as in They Might Be: They are a great band! They have this great ABC album out. It makes me laugh every time I listen to it. It's a bunch of grown men singing and paying homage to the institution that is the alphabet.

Girls: I have three of the coolest daughters in the world. I never knew He-Man and I would ever be so happy surrounded by kids. Someday, we may even figure out how to throw a few boys in the mix. What's a synonym of 'boy' that starts with 'G'?

Gazillion: As in the amount of children I want to have. When I was in a single's ward, I was voted "Most Likely to Have 14 Kids." I was mortified. Then recently my dear friend Tricia made me see how great having a dozen kids would be. I just hope we can have a few sets of twins in there. Does that mean I'm completely insane?

Goober's Lab: I have an embarrassing confession. I'm totally addicted to my daughter's Webkinz game, "Goober's Lab". I can't stop playing it!! Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can still see the little round balls...

Greens: I love salad! Anything leafy, crunchy and raw mixed with feta or Parmesan cheese, blueberries or cranberries, nuts, etc. Just throw it all in there and I'd be in Lettuce Euphoria.

Greg: Soooooo not my favorite! The guy with which I experienced my first kissing disaster. It was really cold and I had to go to the bathroom and I really didn't want to kiss him.

Gross: Apricots, baseball sized gobstoppers, liver and onions, Goldfish...YUCK!

Grandma M: One of my favorite people in the world. I want to be just like her.

Germany: I want to live there someday and ride a bike everywhere I go, plant a garden a mile away from my house and play hide and seek in castle ruins.

Gelato: As in, I want to swim in a ginormous pool of hazelnut flavored Gelato...somewhere in Italy. Since I'll be living in Germany, it will be just a hop, skip and a jump away.

Greek Food: Hummus, olives, Gyros...is there anything yummier?

Gregory Peck: One of the greatest actors, EVER! His portrayal of 'Atticus Finch' in "To Kill a Mockingbird" is beyond remarkable. Atticus is one of the most benevolent characters in fictional contemporary literature.

Go, Go, Go for G!!


If you want to play the alphabet tag game- leave me a note in the comments and I will assign you a letter

2 for 1!! Christmas/ New Years and a Blast from the Past...

I have been a total SLACKER! I've finally caught up on reading all my favorite blogs. I figure now's the time to share pics of the past few weeks. Brace yourself, there's a lot...and some bonuses at the end.


He-Man's family had a funny tradition on Christmas. Dad would put the kids on a Scavenger hunt for their last present. Here's the pics of the hunts he took the girls on. Much to my surprise, he did one for me too!

Bunny got a bike! Now she doesn't need to bloody-up her sister when she wants to borrow hers!

Sunshine got a scooter!! Who gets the much debated old bike?

He-Man's is so smooth, I didn't even see it coming! He gave me the most deliciously frivolous gift: A Pedicure/Manicure Paraffin Wax dipper. For those who know me best, you'll know he got this RIGHT ON, without me even knowing I wanted one that badly. Yahoo! Primping parties at my house!!

He-Man gets his traditional Nerf gun. I soon realized my folly when I remembered he can now rapid-fire on his favorite target: My Caboose.

Apparently, Button Nose isn't cheering for BYU. Go U of U?



These are my favorite December pictures of Bunny and Sunshine. They get those beautiful baby blues from their Daddy.



I had to post this picture because my amazingly talented sister-in-law made these super sexy pajama pants for her husband, He-Man's brother. What shall we call you? Fisto? Man-E-Faces? King Randor? (You gotta help me out here)




Bunny wished for a tea set for Christmas. This is our first tea party. Opa, who will otherwise be known as Atticus on this blog, joined us for the feast.

As the Christmas season came to an end, we were not able to dodge the stomach flu that waged war on the neighborhood. This picture ought to say a thousand words.

Every year while we've been in the area, we've tried to take a snapshot at Temple Square in SLC. This year, not as many of us were entirely enthused about getting the picture done and we had an extra little one hop into the shot.

Now for the 'Blast From the Past'...

A few months ago, I was cleaning out my hope chest and found dozens of negatives of photographs. I dropped them off at a local shop to have them transferred onto a CD and totally forgot about them until today. When I got home, I was stunned by what I found! First, most of Sunshine's photos from very early childhood were on there since she was born pre-digital cameras (sheesh, that makes me feel like a dinosaur!) Second, pictures of my dearly departed dog, that so many people thought was 'funny looking'. Third, He-Man's and my trip to Europe eons ago were on it; As well as solid proof that we were FASHION DISASTERS back then. I'm only sharing these because I'm pretty sure the only people who read this blog love us inspite of what we use to wear in their presence...even worse in public!

Behold, my favorite dog in the world! This is Beethoven. He joined our family when I was 13. When I was 22 and barely married, my parents moved to Japan and I got to keep him with us. He stayed with us for aother 2 years. For months after he left us, I couldn't even walk near the dog food aisle in the grocery store without being reduced to girlish sobs.


Check out the Scrunchies!! I think we were flashing some serious gang signs in this picture but we wouldn't know while living in BYU housing.


K, this is where the disasters get bad...


Wow! We were HAWT!



In case you're wondering where I got my amazing fashion prowess here's a picture of my parents, aunt, uncle and myself. My(might I mention fantastic) mom and dad are the colorful ones.

Guess what? It gets worse...








BAM! Here it is!!Wow! What you don't see in this picture is that I am wearing the previously mentioned heinous sweatshirt from my highschool. In July. In 100 degree heat. Why was I wearing such a monstrosity in the middle of the summer and risking serious heat stroke, you might ask. That is a mystery that gratefuly past with the end of my teenage years.


Okay, okay, now it stops being painful...


It appears that by the time this was taken on our first anniversary, we were pretty normal looking. I loved that dress! It had the practicaly perfect balance of a shimmer and velvety feel.

He-Man really looks HOT in the picture...for real. And not because the car we were driving on the Autobahn had just exploded.

This is still one of my very favorite pictures. He-Man took me to Paris for our first anniversary...and kissed me on the Eiffel Tower.


What happens after a trip like that?

A bitter-sweet end...

I plan on writing a mondo end-of-the-year entry soon, but had to write a separate one this:

After 3 1/2 years working in the Primary Presidency (with one month off during our move from Oregon to Utah) I am being released. I've been feeling this coming for a little while and knew, the moment I heard about it, it was the right thing.

The sweet part of all of this is that now, I get to work as a partner teacher with He-Man. I LOVE teaching with him. He's great in that capacity and we compliment each other's style very well.

The bitter part is leaving a responsibility that has taught me so much, enriched my life and gave me connections to people that will be important to me for the rest of my life.

When I was called to this position in 2005, I was scared and incredibly unsure of my leadership abilities. It's really true that the Lord qualifies those He gives responsibility to because I don't think I had it in me before. Amazingly, we get to keep the skills we learn from our experiences and be better. I'm grateful for this. It's given me a confidence I never knew. I just feel bad for those cute little guinea pigs in Troutdale, Oregon. Gratefully, I also have very patient friends who bore with me while I got totally schooled.

So, it is with a grateful heart that I leave this calling. If I could convey one simple truth it would be this: God loves every single one of us and wants us to be happy. We are intertwined by the way our Heavenly Father uses our talents and abilities to bless each other. Sometimes the interaction is long term, sometimes it's seemingly short; both equally blessed.